Atonement
by Mariana Edwards
Summary: Naiive First Year, Maudie spots her crush, Barty Crouch Junior in a passionate embrace with Regulus Black. She sets off a series of events that will change the Star-Crossed Lover's Fate, as well as Several Other's. It will take her whole life for her to make amends. But she will do it. Based loosely off of Atonement By Ian McEwan. I Own Nothing But OCs. Will somebody please review.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1:Now having lived fifty-two years, one does get a mind filled with memories. Sometimes you look at some every day. Others you forget all about and they seep out until you aren't even aware of their existence. And some you push to the bottom of your mind and refuse to look at, building up strong walls to confine them. But after a while, the walls grow weak, and you forget to maintain them. And they'll break down. And then the memory will surface. Just the other day, I found one of those memories had broken free of it's walls and burst to the surface. This is that memory.

I was in my first year in Ravenclaw house. I was so excited. How many times had I been eagerly awaiting to come here? To finally see the magical school my parents had told me so much about. Now one of the few perks of having muggle-born parents is that they were so amazed to realize that there was a possibility of magic let alone a whole school of it, they really filled the stories with so much wonder. The wonder they experienced. Now with wizard relatives I'm sure I'd have been excited too, but when you are used to the concept of magic, and your parents refer to getting their letter as something that they knew would happen, it really doesn't so much as become a magic school they are describing, but school. 'm sure a muggle who was going to a muggle to the first time would not have felt different. But..oh I don't know if I can explain this well enough or clear enough. I suppose you'll have to be a muggleborn or have a muggleborn parent to know what I mean. Or perhaps you won't. I never was good at describing my emotions. Not because I'm a witch of few words (quite the contrary) but somehow emotions make more sense, rattling around in my mind than they do in my mouth.

Anyways, I-I think I've made my point quite clear. I was ready for Hogwarts. I had boarded the train and made some good friends and rowed across the lake in the boats with a girl named Stephanie Sachs (a sweet girl but she really was the biggest gossip in the school) and sat down on the Stool when they called my name (Mallard, Maudie) and that truly remarkable hat had placed me in Ravenclaw. The latter events described go into far more detail but if I do so, I shall lose myself in them, forgetting the memory and I pride myself on being a witch who gets to the point. I must admit that I was a bit disappointed in my sorting. Although my dad was a Ravenclaw, my Mum was from Gryffindor, where (if my leaving mind can remember the song correctly) dwell the brave at heart! Ravenclaws were the brains of Hogwarts, prizing learning, wisdom and logic over everything else. To a precocious eleven year old as myself, the idea of being brave and daring appealed much more to me. The moment I learned of the sorting ceremony I vowed that I would find my way into Gryffindor. I tried to be as outgoing as I could, to be as brave as I could often embarking on dares my sisters would order me to do never mind the risk (this I'm sure became something of a source of amusement to be sure) and I dumped my nightlight immediately, vowing to sleep in the dark each night, never mind my fear. I did everything I could to make myself braver although looking back some of the methods were a bit foolish. I even earned myself the nickname of "Little Gryffindor" before I was even sorted. I certainly would tell anyone who'd listen how I planned that to be my destination. You can imagine my sheer horror when the hat shouted "Ravenclaw!" the moment it was placed on my head. Didn't even have a conversation with me, or spend some time pondering as it had done for my parents. I became convinced that the Sorting Hat was a blundering old Codger who's magic was wearing off. I was a true Gryffindor at heart no matter what it said. Of course now that I have begun to make the journey of unraveling my true self (oh yes, fifty is not nearly enough time) I can admit without shame that the hat could not have placed me in a better house.

Oh my, it appears that I am rambling. I'd better get to the story. As I had said before, I was furious with the hat for putting me in Ravenclaw. It was not the house for me. Every time I saw my sisters (one was a Hufflepuff and two were also Ravenclaws) they'd point their fingers and sneer "What are you doing in the Ravenclaw tower? I thought you were a Gryffindor. We'd better tell Professor Flitwick and get you out. Sneaking into other House's towers can lose your house fifty points you know!"

I started grumbling about everything I could. The stupid riddles that the knocker kept on asking me whenever I went into the Common room. If I couldn't guess the answer, it wouldn't let me in. There was nothing lore infuriating than having to show up to Transfiguration without your books or quill because when you ran to the common room, to get them, when you realized that you'd forgotten,you couldn't get in because you don't know "what can't you keep until you give"

"What's with the symbol of Ravenclaw being an eagle when it should be a Raven?"

"Why are our house colors blue and bronze but our scarves, ties, and robe-linings are blue and silver? Silver is the Slytherin color!"

I could probably go on and on for hours on end, describing the many faults of Ravenclaw. But doing so makes me feel shame and I don't like feeling any more shame than necessary. If I had a galleon for every time I complained to a fellow Ravenclaw about how I should have been a Gryffindor, I'd be richer than the Malfoy family. But I don't like keeping any money that I didn't earn through hard work. The only thing I remotely liked about Ravenclaw was that my crush was in it. He was a Seventh year and very strong and handsome. He was also inxredibly intelligent.I heard that he had gotten TWELVE O. ! He was modest too, never bragging about his accomplishments. He was quoet and silent. Mysterious too. To a precocious eleven year old, he seemed like an Adonis! I allways tried to look presentable whenevee I saw him and I allowed one of my friends who enjoyed designing hair to practice on me just so he would give me a double take. HE NEVER DID!

Understandably, after four months of endless complaining, around Christmas break when everybody had gone home (I stayed at school because I couldn't bare to come home to my parents wearing robes lined with blue, after all those years of wearing red. Also, the idea of entering a room filled with Gryffindor memorabilia would now be a painful reminder that I wasn't in it) my fellow Ravenclaw snapped. It was my friend Stephanie, who was staying here because her insufferable second cousin once removed was coming to stay with her family over the holidays and staying at the school was the only way she could have some peace of him. She had patiently and respectfully, and enduringly put up with nothing but whines and moans from me that could have put Moaning Myrtle, the whiny haunt who was always bawling in one of the girl's bathrooms, to shame (ironically, somebody told me that she was also a Ravenclaw) But everybody has a limit and Stephanie had long reached hers.

"All right fine! If you think that you're a true Gryffindor, prove it!" she snapped

"Prove it?" I asked, slightly stunned. She's never interrupted my sessions before.

"Yeah. If you really think that you're too brave to be among us _cowardly_ Ravenclaws, I'm sure you won't mind doing something to prove your legendary courage that all Gryffindors are supposed to_ have_. Judging from the Sorting Hat's song, I thought that Gryffindors were supposed to do _brave deeds._ Not sit around and whine and complain, but I sort of zoned out part way through and may have missed something important about how a key feature of Gryffindors is that they always complain and groan"

"Well, what do you want me to do?"

"Well, there is one thing you can do but you'd have to be really brave to do it. Only a true Gryffindor would dare to and if you are one, then why in Merlin's beard did the Hat put you in Ravenclaw? I'm starting to think that may count for something.."

"No, way!" I shouted, infuriated that she was saying such an insulting thing.

"What is it? What is it!? I want to do it. If only a Gryffindor would do it, sign me up!"

"Well.." grinned Stephie sneakily. "If you really are brave, then you'll sneak into the Slytherin Common room and pretend to be a Slytherin until the hollidays end"

"What!" I yelped like a kicked dog.

"You heard me. The holidays have started so there's no classes, almost all the Slytherins are gone, you can borrow some Green-lined robes from the laundry room and it's really that simple! All you need is the guts to do it! It's really quite easy. All Gryffindors do it. It's an initiation for all the first years, my cousin told me*. For a true Gryffindor, it's easy as pie! Of course if you aren't..then I can see why you'd be too scared to do it!"

I gave her a hard look. And fifteen minutes later I was dressed in Slytherin garb and heading toward the direction I had seen the Slytherins go after lessons and dinner. I kept my head down, afraid that somebody might not remember me from before. As luck would have it, I had absolutely no idea which way I should go. I noticed a Slytherin girl* walking out of the great hall. She was tall and thin, with chocolate brown hair and kind eyes. If I hadn't seen her green tie, than I would never in a thousand years have guessed that she was a Slytherin. I followed her around, trying not to look sneaky (it's amazing how when you try not to appear so the more you really do) she seemed to be in a hurry and throwing all the stops in order to make sure nobody was following her. It took every ounce of stealth in me to keep me from being noticed. Finally after she seemed to have walked all over the castle, she did not walk up to her common room, but instead to a Hufflepuff boy* who seemed to have been waiting for her, threw her arms around him, and he kissed her full on the mouth.

"Oh crumbs!" I thought exasperatedly.

"Now, I'll have to wait until she finishes snogging him" .

I was there long enough to dimly appreciate something that my sister Jennet had told me about how Hufflepuffs are the only people who can tolerate Slytherins because only they have the patience and loyalty. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of the girl sucking on the Hufflepuff's neck, she gave him a very sloppy good bye, and they parted ways. I hid behind a statue of some wizard doing a can-can as she walked by me, and after she was some considerable distance from me, I began to follow. I trailed after her to the lowest floor in the castle. She walked up to a large, stone wall, rolled her eyes, and said "Magic is might" , To my utter amazement, the wall separated into two, and disappeared into the consecutive walls surrounding it, revealing the creepiest common room I had ever seen. It was a dark, low-ceilinged room, the only sources of light were from dull, green, low-hanging lamps. How anybody could read in there was beyond me. The place was murky and dull, with a large wall sculpture of a serpent, poised at the ready, it's fangs bared. I shuddered. It almost looked alive. Then, the moment the girl had passed through the wall, it closed. I waited thirty seconds then walked up to it and repeated the phrase. I was terrified that there would be magical defenses that would be able to tell whether or not I was a Slytherin, that would turn me into a toad or worse, or blast me with the killing curse, or reduce me to a pile of ashes. To my shock, not only did none of these things happen, but the wall opened up and allow me to enter, just as it had the Slytherin. There didn't seem to be any Slytherins around. My inadvertant guide was nowhere to be seen. I didn't see anybody who might call me out, so I decided to have a look around. Slowly I felt my apprehension subside, and my pride rise. I was the first and only non-Slytherin who had managed to enter their common room for who knows how long! Possibly the first and only student to enter a house's common room that wasn't mine! If this didn't make me a Gryffindor, I don't know what does!

This will show everyone that I'm a true Gryffindor, not a silly Ravenclaw who spends her free time cracking eggs on the floor*, or trying to find out the magical properties of troll bogies (I had seen my fellow Ravenclaws do this in the common room for hours on end) I decided that if I was going to spend out my holiday here, I might as well have a look around. I waled over to one of the windows. It appeared to have been stained green. The glass-stainer appeared to have gone a tad bit overboard as I couldn't see out of it at all. Suddenly I saw an eel slither by. Out of thin air-at I level. I bit my tongue, holding back a squeak of shock! I suddenly remembered Stephanie telling me that the Slytherin common Room was in the dungeons. Dungeons, meaning below level! "We must be in the lake!" I thought. "The Slytherin Common Room is inside the lake!"

I had absolutely no time to come to terms with this surprising realization because I heard voices coming from behind me. Somebody must be coming out of their dorms! I panicked, thinking that whoever it was, might recognise me from my sorting and remember that I was a Ravenclaw. Wit only seconds, to act, every single one of my blood vessels turning into ice, so much adrenaline pumping through them, that I felt that they were going to shatter, on the verge of turning into stone, I had only seconds to act. I was about to hide behind the curtains when my voice of reason valiantly gave me one last piece of advice before shutting down completely "They'll see your toes. One movement, and you're caught. Why not hide behind a couch?" I had just enough sense in me to listen to the voice. Just like how I had seen American Football Players* dive for the ball I dived behind an old fashioned looking sofa and crouched behind it. My curiosity got the best of me after a few seconds, and I found myself peering up over it. Every inch of common sense in me was shrieking at me to get down. I would be seen! But my curiosity always did get the better of me and this time was no exeption. I peered over the couch, analyzed the "intruder's" images, and ducked it down as quickly as I had lifted it slowly. From what I had seen, there were not one, but two Slytherins in the common room. I never was particularly good at guessing ages, and to a First Year like myself at the time, it seemed as though they were old enough to be teachers (which probably meant that they were in the Seventh Year) One was tall, with straw colored hair, brown eyes (this combination was always something of an abnormality to me as it seemed to me that it was eyes of azure that went with fair hair) and a constellation of freckles scattered mostly across his nose and cheekbones. He was gangly and awkward looking.

The other boy was even slimmer, with a rather, regal, slightly haughty look. His hair was jet-black and fell in waves over his face in an incredibly elaborate, attractiveness, yet it seemed a though he had not done a thing about it. He was slightly shorter than the first boy and fair amount more good-looking. I thought that the second boy resembled somebody. Racking my mind, I began comparing him to every black haired person I knew until finally, I found a match. He resembled Sirius Black, one of my sister, Moira (the Hufflepuff)'s former boyfriends He was in her year, but I don't think that my parents fully approved of the match. Whenever, she came home from the holidays, we'd find her attached to his arm. She practically adored him. All the letters we received from her, during her second to seventh year, consisted of pages about how amazing and truly wonderful he was, and how he was her one true love. I never could stomach one of those letters without retching. If he returned her feelings for her, he certainly didn't show it. Whenever, she dragged him from his friends to come meet us when she returned, he always seemed rather bored and annoyed. From the point of view of his girlfriend's own sister, it appeared to me that he thought her rather annoying and clingy. He dumped her the moment his seventh year ended (and her sixth) and she came home from the platform, a sobbing mess, with my other sisters (who had started coming to Hogwarts as well) surrounding her. One was allowing her to lean her head on her shoulder, another was halfheartedly patting her on the back, and all looked incredibly annoyed (it seemed that they had been comforting her all the way home and would have much rather been with their friends) But it wasn't just his relationship with my sister that made him famous. He and four other of his friends, James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew (I'm sure most of you are aware who all of these people were as they are a bit famous in our world) They were part of a gang called the Marauders. They were legendary for their pranks and antics during their time at school. So famous were they, that the seven years that they had gone to the school were now called "The Marauder's Era" I never have been able to stomach the regret that I missed it by a year. Anyways, this boy was probably Regulus Black, Sirius's younger brother. Regulus had seemed like the opposite of Sirius, judging by what my sisters had told me of him (which wasn't much) Sirius was somewhat of a black sheep (pardon the pun) in his family, which was your standard, pureblood fanatic "Everybody in our family has been a wizard and a Slytherin and we think Muggles and any wizards associated with them are scum" folks. They thought Voldemort was our savior and that he had the right ideas in mind. Sirius was all about defying stereotypes. Not only was he the first ever Black to be put into Gryffindor, but also he was wild and outgoing. He went out of his way that he showed no regard for his family members. He even took muggle studies just to annoy them! According to my sisters, Sirius received a howler fro his mother at least twice a week about how he'd disgraced the black family name! Of course he ended up proving himself a true Black, as we all know. You can imagine everybody's shock when it was revealed that not only was he a death eater, but he was You-Know-Who's most faithful follower! Not many people are aware of this, but my dear friend Stephanie (who ended up joining the Department of Law Enforcement, working her way up to eventually becoming an auror) revealed to me that he was the one who sold out his friend, James Potter's* whereabouts to You-Know-Who, causing him and his wife Lily to get murdered in cold blood

Regulus was quite the opposite. He was a Black through and through. He was placed in Slytherin, he used the words "mudblood" and "blood traitor", he allways seemed puffed up and haughty (two big for his britches in my opinion) and he played seeker for the Slytherin Quidditch team. Unfortunately, he was good too. He had beat Ravenclaw twice, catching the snitch from right under our seeker, Sturgis Podmore's nose. Suddenly I realized something. The blond boy was Barty Crouch Junior! Son of the head of the Department of Law Enforcement and my crush! His father was legendary for his obsession with catching dark wizards. He had authorized the permission for Aurors to perform the Unforgivable Curses on suspects, and threw anybody, remotely associated with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named into prison for life with no trial. Also, Barty Crouch Jr. was a Ravenclaw. IN short, what was he doing in the Slytherin common room? This meant that not only was I not the first student to sneak into the Slytherin common room, but I was not even the first Ravenclaw. Poo.

I watched the two boys for a brief period of time. they seemed to be arguing. Instinctively, I felt a wave of shame hit. Me. What would Barty think of me, hiding behind the couch? Would he be angry? How did my hair look?

"Why have you been trying to avoid me, ever since we boarded the train?"shouted Barty

"I don't know what you're talking about! Now, if you don't mind, I have to go to the Library!" yelled Regulus (by the sound of his grunts and and jerky speech, Barty had grabbed his arm and wouldn't let go)

"Well, then, let me refresh your memory, first, on the train, you run off into a crowded compartment the moment we board, and slam the door in my face, you refuse to sit next to me in Potions, and you won't make eye contact, whenever I call out to you in the hall, you pretend like you don't here me and accelerate your pace, and whenever I try to sit down with you at the Great Hall, you immediately get up, and run into your common room!"

"How in Merlin's Beard did you even get in! Only Slytherins are allowed!"

"I told a first year Slytherin that I'd perform a silencing charm on him and then the Cruciatus Curse if he didn't tell me"

"Well that's not sadistic and cruel in the least. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to the library. I've got to finish an extra credit report McGonnagal gave me"

"No, you don't! You just want an excuse not to be alone with me!"

"That's not true, let me go!"

"Why have you been avoiding me! We've been friends since the third year!"

"I don't know what you're talking about. Now let me go!"

"Not until you tell me what's wrong! Is it because you don't want to be friends anymore? Because you could have just told me and saved me a lot of puzzlement and hurt feelings"

"No, it's not that it's just-"

"Well is it because since my Dad's Head of the Department of Law Enforcement, you're scared I'm going to tell him about the dark mark on your arm and get you carted off to Azkaban?"

"NO!"

"I've told you, time and time again that I don't give a damn about my father! How many times do I have to say it in order for it to penetrate you're thick skull?"

"THAT'S. NOT. IT!" roared Regulus. I jumped. I was terrified that his voice would bring somebody into the Common Room from the dormitories, and I'd get caught.

"Ah HA!" yelled Barty.

"So there is something bothering you! You said 'That's not it'. It, as in there is a reason why you haven't been talking to me"

"All right, all right!" cried Regulus exasperatedly.

"Then what is it?"

"It's just that...the problem isn't you. It-it-it-it's me. I don't understand ex-you don't understand...it's-I can't..I don't even know...is it...I can't..."

"What don't I understand?" asked Barty, all the frustration in his voice replaced by patience.

"I-I-I...I-I...I-I...I've never kissed anybody before!" stammered Regulus lamely. "What do you mean?" asked Barty puzzledly.

"My parents want me to marry a girl from a pure blood family" explained Regulus lamely.

I tried to form a theory out of Regulus's words. Did Barty have a girlfriend who Regulus's parents wanted to marry. I had heard of purebloods arranging marriages for their children with other pure bloods. Did Regulus's parents arrange a marriage him for a girl who was currently dating Barty? Did her parents want Regulus to steal her from him? After trying to find a new theory for several minutes in the lengthy silence that followed and failing, I came to the conclusion that that my first hypothesis was it. "So what?" asked Barty "The pureblood bit I don't care about. It's just that..I'm not sure that it's a girl I want" At this point, my hypothesis turned to ashes. What the heck did he mean when he said that he didn't want a girl? "Excuse me?" asked Barty, voicing my skepticism. At this point, I became brave enough to peek out from the couch and take a look at Regulus's face. His dark, gray eyes were shinier than a Unicorn's horn and tears were dripping out of them. I quickly ducked again behind the couch, afraid that I was done for but as neither of them walked over to it and dragged me out or voiced the suspicion that somebody was watching, I assumed that I was in the clear. I waited for the next person to speak. It was Regulus. He seemed to be using every ounce of his will not to break out in sobs.

"I-I've started thinking about you ever the summer. Differently. I can't stop wondering how...how you're day is going and and-and if you're happy and-...if you aren't-w-why not? I've started noticing things about you. Things...I didn't notice before-things I should notice... in girls. Like how you're hair falls all over the place-and how bright your eyes are, and how you're so smart that you got twelve O. How you have a sweet smile and how you are so blunt and honest and sarcastic...and ...how much... I like that. I have dreams about you. Dreams in which we do things...I should do with girls. But I've never felt that way about a girl...ever...I've never felt...that way -about anybody but...you"

At this point Regulus cracked. The dam burst and the floodgates came pouring out. I could hear him sobbing and crying. Harder than I had ever heard anybody cry in my whole life. I was beginning to feel rather awkward. Never in all my eleven years, had I ever seen a boy crying. I was under the false impression that boys do not cry. I thought that they were incapable of doing so. Yet, here was one in the flesh, crying his eyes out. I didn't want to see him crying, partly out of awkwardness, partly because I didn't think he'd appreciate anybody seeing him this vulnerable. I didn't want to treat it like a spectacle. After what felt like ten hours (I wished with all my heart that the windows didn't show us the Black Lake and instead gave me a view of the sun so that I could check the time. There really is nothing quite so infuriating, and insanity-driving as not knowing how long you've been listening in on an awkward conversation. Finally, after what seemed like two lifetimes, Regulus's sobs began to subside, slowly at first, then more and more until they ceased to exist.

When I peeked up again, Barty Crouch, was handing Regulus a cigarette. Smoking in the Common Rooms! There was no way that that could be tolerated!

"I never can or will understand you Regulus" Barty said quietly.

"Too Bad" sniffed the black-haired boy.

"And when I don't understand people, it drives me crazy. I pride myself on my understanding. And in a way you are mocking me for my failure"

Regulus blushed and pulled out his cigarette.

"I don't usually smoke" he muttered quietly.

The events that happened next happened so fast that I had absolutely no idea what happenned at first. For a split second, I thought I had dozed of. What was going on?

_ Barty Crouch Junior Grabbed Regulus Black by the neck of his robes, pulled him toward himself, and kissed him full on the mouth._

_ My stomach lurched. What the hell was going on? Both of them were boys. Boys didn't kiss boys. Boys kissed girls! This wasn't normal! It couldn't be normal. Boys kiss girls not other boys! Yet here was Crouch snogging Regulus! And Barty was my love! Why was he kissing a boy!? Should I be jealous or horrified? I DON'T KNOW! THIS IS WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!  
_

*Not true in the slightest

*Andromeda Black

*Ted Tonks

*Ovomancy

* For some reason, my father was rather fond of a muggle sport that was played exclusively in the colonies. It is absolutely nothing like the muggle sport, football you may see some muggles play here occasionally)


	2. Keeping You A Secret

Barty Crouch Junior had known Regulus Black ever since he had met him on the train. He was put in the Ravenclaw house (he would have preferred Slytherin but his dad would have thrown him out of the house, refusing to be associated any way with death eaters) and Regulus was put in Slytherin. Regulus's parents were much cooler than Barty Crouch would ever be. They agreed with everything his father didn't and that made him like them even more. Regulus didn't give a damn that he was a Ravenclaw and stayed his friend just the same. He was that a good friend to him like that. For six, glorious years, their friendship had thrived like a weed. Regulus was the only thing that kept Barty from attempting the killing curse on himself the moment he knew how. Regulus had no idea how much Barty needed him. A lot more than he probably did.

Regulus and Barty were in their seventh year now. Barty had began to notice a change in Regulus. He always considered him to be not quite as good looking as his rebellious Gryffindor brother. They allways chuckled and snickered whenever Sirius got into trouble with his mother.

But now, Regulus had become more attractive than his brother. He was slimmer, his hair (which was considerably shorter) suddenly started looking glossy like a Raven's wing. His skin was pale, cool like an oasis in the middle of a hot desert. Everytime Barty saw him, he suddenly started feeling thirsty. Right now, Bartty was pressing his mouth onto his, crashing into him like an ocean wave. He had wanted to do this for so long.

Regulus had at first, seemed to go along with it, probably because he was too shocked to react. But then, Barty could slowly sense his mind to reactivate, his limbs beginning to feebly push him off, although his mouth seemed to be perfectly happy where it was. Well, Barty had waited way too long to do this, and he wasn't ready to end his experience just yet.

Clamping his hands around his arms (he was a lot stronger than he looked) he wrapped himself around Regulus even tighter and pushed him into a wall. He found himself filled with gratitude that this was happening in the Slytherin Common room instead of his own, where the only witnesses to his offense were fissh, eels and the Giant squid. Had he come onto Regulus in Ravenclaw Tower, the Common room practically overlooked the whole school and there definitely was a chance somebody would see him from the window.

The moment Regulus collided with the wall, he let out a gasp ofBshock as his body came into contact with the cold stone surface,and just like that, Barty slipped in his tongue, as though he'd planned the whole this out. Regulus's mouth was warm and soft, much softer than any of the stupid girls he'd kissed. But now he wanted in. He took his time exploring the inside of his mouth, twisting and scraping. He was mildly surprised by how flexible his tongue was.

Regulus seemed to have stopped fighting. Perhaps he was getting into it, or perhaps he was just playing along in order to get Barty to let his guard down. whatever the case, he wasn't taking any chances. He clamped his arms even tighter around Regulus's slender frame and reinforced him up against the wall so hard that the younger boy let put a whimper of pain. Barty consoled him by running his hand through his hair. It may have looked glossy and shiny, but it felt soft and warm like a cotton ball.

Barty finally decided after his arms started feeling sore that perhaps it was time for Regulus to have a chance. Moving very slowly, keeping his lips pressed against his the whole time, he slowly, so slowly that he felt he would never move, he brought his hand up to his snow white cheek, cupping it gently in his hand. It felt, warm and soft, like down.

Barty wanted to keep his mouth connected to Regulus's for all eternity. But he was starting to have some difficulty breathing and he would have had to stop eventually. Regulus could now decide whether he wanted him, or not. Even though he was the one who admitted his feelings first, what if the kiss made him realize that he was wrong about them? What if he would never get a drop of that sweet nectar ever again. He remembered what his mother said about how if you truly loved something, you'd let it go. If it came back to you, it was your's. If not, it never was. But Barty wanted Regulus to be his so bad! Finally, with his heart in his mouth, and after he had poured every last drop of it into Regulus's he ripped it away. He stared into Regulus's eyes. Those magnificent, dark grey eyes.

Regulus's mouth seemed to be half open (Barty could slide in his tongue again!) and he seemed to be in a dream state (all the fairytales said that a kiss would wake him up!) and he was swaying back and forth (Barty ached to catch him and hold him once more!)

Finally he spoke very slowly.

"Well, I guess I just had my first kiss"

"Yeah, I guess you did" said Barty sheepishly.

"You're really wierd, you know that?"

"I've heard it once or twice"

And before Barty could react, Regulus was grabbing him by his robe lining and pulling him right back in. And this time, now that Regulus knew what he wanted, it was just that much more better. Their mouths were entwined and it felt as though they were trying to have a battle using only them. When Barty realized that it couldn't be won, he tore himself away from Regulus, cupped his pace, and gently tilted it forward. Barty then began planting his lips down the arch of Regulus's beautiful neck. He moved slowly down, suckling for a while, then moving to another spot, lightly nipping it before his lips settled, taking in the way Regulus gasped and whimpered each time he did so.

He became dimly aware of Regulus's finger's inching away at his robes, slowly at first then faster and faster.

Then, suddenly Regulus stopped. It was as though he had turned to stone. He was trembling, his skin had turned even whiter than before, his breathing was coming out so shallow that, he seemed to be turning blue.

"What's wrong, Reg?" asked Barty, as he swept some dark hair that had fell into the latter's eye's.

With the smallest of whimpers, Regulus pointed his finger in the direction of was transfixed in.

Standing before him was a first year girl. She was very short, with dark brown eyes, too large for her face. It took Regulus a while to realize that they were that way because of shock. Unaware at first about the situation, he laughed

what's the matter Reg, it's only a first year...Oh damn" suddenly, as though somebody had poured a bucket of water over him, he too became paralyzed with shock. The realization kicked in. There was a witness. This girl had witnessed Regulus and him lip-lock.

Suddenly he wondered something. This girl wasn't a Slytherin. she was a Ravenclaw. One of his own house. He'd seen her burst into giggles whenever he walked by and occainsonally flash him a smile. So why was she in the Slytherin Common Room, wearing green-lined robes?

"Maudie right? This...this...this isn't what it...what it looks like?"

Maudie took three steps back before she answered, very slowly, as though trying to hold down vomit.

"It...it...it...it looks like you...you...were..k-k-k-k-_KISSING ANOTHER BOY!"_

_ "Well-er-that's offensive. This-this this is Regina. My girlfrien__d" _

The excuse was terrible to start with. But it really was pointless. The first year bolted toward the exit and was gone before either of them could draw their wands. She ran so fast, that if it hadn't been for the fact that she spoke, the Slytherins would have thought her a figment of the imagination


	3. Professor Dumbledore

**Maudie Tells the Headmaster**

"Professor Dumbledore!" I cried, as I raced up the stairs.

"Professor Dumbledore!" I kept calling out his name, pointlessly. I raced all the way up the stairs, a long, laborious task, as I was in the dungeons, below the lack, and Professor Dumbledore's castle was higher than the Astronomy tower.

Finally, after what seemed like ten eternities worth of running, and my supply of breath was so depleted that I could no longer repeatedly call out his name, I came upon a very large, very ugly gargoyle. Remembering what one of my older sisters had told me about how the gargoyle was something of a guardian for Dumbledore's study and how one must bequeath it a password in order to enter, I stared up at it blankly. What on earth was the password? Is it pasted daily on the Student Notice Board? I had never seen it! If I did, I certainly wouldn't have paid attention. I only read the messages intended for the First Years! I made a mental note to myself to always remember to read the notice board thoroughly, top to bottom. Never again, must I confine my attention to the first year announcements.

Suddenly, I remembered one of my sisters (this one was always in trouble for some reason or the other) telling me that the password was almost, always the name of some kind of Honeydukes sweet. Pinching my brain, I forced my mind to move on from the horror of witnessing the male-on-male snog-session, and to bring forth a list of every single Honeyduke sweet I had ever heard my sisters and parents tell me about.

"Er…..Fizzing Whizzbee?" I asked uncertainly.

Nothing.

"Ice mice?"

Nothing.

"Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Bean?"

Nothing.

"Chocolate Frog?"

Nothing.

"Drooble's Best Blowing Gum?"

After witnessing the absence of anything happening from my first two attempts to enter the study, my mind had become a bit adapted to it. I was fully expecting the Gargoyle to do nothing but continue leering down unpleasantly at me.

Suffice to say, I received somewhat of a shock when it sprang to life, and jumped to the side, in a flash of light, bringing to my sight a large, spiral staircase, curving around a golden pole.

I was so shocked by this display that for a few seconds, I simply ogled, the spectacle, my eyes spherical, and my mouth ajar. It wasn't until the gargoyle spoke to me in a voice, not unlike an American gangster.

"Ay kid, you goin up? Or are you just gonna eat the view with your eyeballs?"

"Er-yes-I-I-I mean-no. I'm going-up….Mr.-…...Gargoyle-sir" I said, all flustered. My sisters certainly never had mentioned this to me.

I was so startled by the discovery of the Gargoyle's ability to communicate (as well as the sudden burdening of my semi-subconscious, first-year-fear that it might make a meal out of me) that I scooted up the staircase surprisingly nimbly, for somebody who had just ran up several flights of stairs.

Although my shock, horror, and urgency to reach the Headmaster were still very much present, my exhaustion, fatigue, and still-present shock of the talking Gargoyle had made me somewhat less eager and enthusiastic.

Although it would have been deemed more prudent to run up_ this_ flight of stairs, while chanting the headmaster's name, I simply walked up slowly and silently.

Fortunately, this uphill passage, was not nearly as long as the combined lengths of all the staircases I had, had to run up (not to mention it didn't start shifting randomly as some of them, causing me to nearly fall to the bottom, and giving me the biggest shock of my life)

In less than five minutes, I found myself in one of the most elaborate, beautiful studies I had ever seen. It was a round, dome-shaped room which emitted a happy golden aura, which gave me a feeling of being incredibly satisfied, and safe. There were large, wooden shelves, thrice my height, stuffed with books of the thickest volume, radiating an essence of knowledge. They seemed to be calling to me, begging me to explore their secrets, absorb their wisdom. I never was known for being a particularly passionate bookworm, but I felt at that moment, that if I could sit down and read those books, one by one for the rest of my life, it would be complete and content, with me knowing no want or need ever again.

There were mahogany tables, sprinkled all over with the strangest, spinning, whirring contraptions of polished silver. Each one seemed to be completing a different function and I could only guess what they were. No two were emitting the same noise or looked remotely alike except for their coloring. I could have stared at them for ten years, and still have no idea what purposes they were fulfilling.

But by far, the most spectacular aspect of the magnificent study was a bright red aviator sitting on a golden perch. It was the color of a setting sun and had the brightness and intensity to match. It's head was topped with an exquisite crest that curved in a perfect C-shape. It's eyes were the size and shape of walnuts and they were the color of fresh licorice. They were incredibly bright, causing myself to make the wild presumption that it was crying due to years of having witnessed my sister's eyes take up that same luster before they overloaded their tear ducts. But as I came closer, I realized that it was not sadness that was making it's eyes so bright, but knowledge. Knowledge of having been alive a thousand years, if not more, and seeing, hearing, learning. The most knowledgeable wizards could only dream of possessing enough knowledge and wisdom to make their eyes shine like that.

That's when I realized that this was no ordinary bird. This was a Phoenix. No ordinary cockatoo's eyes would contain that kind of human-like wisdom. I was enthralled. I was amazed. I was observing a Phoenix in the flesh! Most wizards would live their entire lives without ever seeing so much as a feather! And here I was; a mere first year seeing one ten inches from my nose! Why did my sisters never tell me about this Phoenix? They couldn't have simply forgotten about it! Nobody with a fragment of a soul could forget about this wondrous creature! I would be having a very firm, talking-to with them, when I came back to the Ravenclaw Common Room-

Thinking of the Ravenclaw Common Room, as well as a quivery, yet strong voice penetrating my ears with the message "I see, you have met Fawkes" woke me up from my semi-conscious dream-state I had unwittingly entered.

I whirled around, and found a tall, thin wizard, facing me. His eyes were palest blue, like the light that falls in through a Chapel window. They were bright like the Phoenix's. His frame was tall, imposing, yet at the same time humble and gentle. His beard was snow-white, and tumbled like a babbling brook to his feet. This was Albus Dumbledore.

"Er-sorry, Professor. I-I just got so amazed by your study—"

Even in my head, the words sounded flattering and kissy-uppy.

"Yes, it has that effect on people" grinned the mighty Wizard.

"You asked-me….if…If I was admiring-Fawkes? Is that the name of your-um-Phoenix?"

"Yes, it is. He really is a remarkable being. His tears can heal even the most serious wounds. His feathers have a wide range of magical properties. Oh, you should hear him sing. It is quite something"

"I-I'd like that" I stammered.

"Now, what was it that you were here for?" he pressed gently.

I was once again jolted into the memory of the two male Seventh years entwined around each other, sucking on their faces.

Well, Professor Dumbledore, I-I saw something really unsettling…and I mean really really unsettling and-well, I thought that you should know about it"

Dumbledore simply nodded his head, prodding me to keep going.

"Well, I was-I-was, in the Slytherin Common Room"

"And what might you have been doing in there, if I may beg your pardon to interrupt" asked Dumbledore.

My heart paralysed itself. Oh crumbs! I had just revealed to him my secret! I had completely forgotten that I was not supposed to be in the Slytherin Common Room, and that doing so could cost my house and arm and a leg in house points. I had completely forgotten my dare that I was to spend the rest of the holidays posing as a Slytherin. Suddenly I had a brain wave. I was wearing Slytherin robes! With luck, Dumbledore wouldn't remember my actual house! How could he? There had been so many of us! I must have been twenty-eighth in line. Yet, the thought of lieing to Dumbledore made the lining of my stomach crystallize, and I was hit with a wave of unease even greater than the latter one I'd experienced about losing house points.

Anyways, whether or not I had lied would not have mattered. Dumbledore knew my house.

"If I recall the Sorting, Maude, the Hat placed you in Ravenclaw" he said, with his eyes twinkling like little stars.

I wasn't even nervous about getting into trouble at that point. I was too busy being amazed and impressed.

"How-how the heck do you remember? There were so many of us, First Years!"

Dumbledore gave me a knowing smile, remniscient of the one my parents had given me when they tired of my ceaseless questions, which they began to find were getting harder and harder to answer*

"There's not a single student who hasn't passed through the Hogwarts doors, that I don't know about"

"But you can't possibly remember every single one of them! I mean, you've probably had so many students! How can you remember the names and house of _every single one_?"

"I do not think that you ran all the way up to my study, just to lecture me on my memorization skills" he replied.

"What? Oh- sorry. All right I admit it! I was so sure the Sorting Hat was wrong when it sorted me. I don't belong in Ravenclaw! I know I don't! Everybody's telling me that 'the Hat's never wrong' 'the hat's never wrong!' Well this time it was! I _know_ that I'm not logical and brainy! I don't sit around all day mugging up books! I'm brave! I'm courageous! I love going on adventures! I've always known that! I belong in Gryffindor! So my friend told me, that if I really am a true Gryffindor, I'll be more than willing to sneak into the Slytherin Common Room, and pretend to be a Slytherin for the remaining holidays. She told me that was a common initiation for Gryffindor First Years, and that if I really was a Gryffindor, it should be a piece of cake! So I went down there, and I borrowed some green-lined robes from the laundry, and went into the Common Room. And then when I got there…I- I I saw two boys kissing each other! It was so gross! It was so weird! I've never seen or heard of anything like that in my life!"

Dumbledore looked at me quietly.

"You think that the love shared between two people is gross?" there was a slight trace of anger in his voice for the first time.

"Er-well…a kiss should be between a boy and a girl. It shouldn't be between two boys. Boys kiss girls and girls kiss boys"

"Says who?" he pressed quietly.

"Well, everybody knows that boys and girls fall in love with each other. That's the way it's always been. I've _never _heard of two boys being in love with each other"

At this moment, Dumbledore looked at me square in the eye. I quivered under his gaze. I had said something wrong. I had done something bad. He was going to curse me. He was going to attack me. Something bad was going to happen to me.

But all he did was clap his hands together.

At that moment, Fawkes the Phoenix began to sing the most beautiful song ever. It was unlike any melody I had ever heard. In fact, it was the strangest melody I'd ever heard. The song sung was inhuman, otherworldly, impossible to imitate with a human voice.

And yet…it was beautiful. It swept me off my feet, and swung me high into the air. It carried me off to distant lands, which could not be seen by eyes, but heard, and felt, and sensed. I felt like my entire soul was elevated to a plain of higher being. Like I would never be the same. I was changed inside somehow. I was enlightened. When the melody finally brought me back down, I was changed forever.

"Now, unless this is not your first encounter with a Phoenix, I'm sure you've never heard of a memory like that" said Dumbledore, who knelt down on one knee so that his gaze ran horizontal to mine. His image was somewhat blurry, and I realized far too late that I was crying. I hastily wiped my tears on my borrowed robes.

"No Professor, I haven't"

"Now tell me, Maudie. What did you think of that melody?"

"It was beautiful!" I exclaimed

"But wasn't it strange, and unheard of? Wasn't it weird?"

"Well, yeah I guess so. But in a good way!"

"But shouldn't it have made you want to vomit? After all, it was so abnormal. It is no melody that you have ever heard of in your life?"

"Well….it doesn't matter. Sure, it took a few seconds to get into it…but that's ok. Once you get a feel for it, you really like it! It's nice. It's sweet. Even though you haven't heard it, It's-it's still music."

"There you have it, my child! Just like how the Phoenix song was still music despite it's abnormally, the love between those boys is still a form of love. Although you have never heard of it before, it is still present. And just like how the Phoenix melody was strange, yet beautiful, so is their love. Once you get over the shock of encountering something different, you start to see it's beauty. All music is beautiful and so is love. After all, there is more than one kind of music? So why shouldn't there be more than one kind of love? You need to learn to bend your mind, to accept new changes, to see beyond the norm! We are, after all, wizards and witches!"

I am sure that all parents, muggle or Wizard, have experienced a time when they no longer know the answer to their children's ceaseless questions. Instead of admitting that they don't know, they simply give their children an all knowing smile, in the hopes that the belief that they are all-knowing will placate them.


	4. Chapter 4

Four years had passed since the homosexual encounter. It had been four years ever since I had revealed to the whole school that the darling of Slytherin was found snogging a male Ministry Brat. I was not completely aware of the transpiring events. What I did know were rumors already subjected to so many different mouths and hosts, that by the time they reached my own ears, they had mutated into several different strains, making themselves unrecognizable from their original selves. I did however manage to extract a few facts.

1. Somebody had managed to deliver an owl to Barty Crouch Sr. about the boy-on-boy encounter. The Head of Law Enforcement was livid with rage and had his son sent home for the rest of the holidays immediately. When he came back to Hogwarts, I saw a glimpse of him covered in bruises, a black eye, scars reminiscent of angry lashes, and he was also limping.

2. Mr. Crouch had demanded the rustication of Regulus, calling in favors from the school Governors and everybody remotely associated with the Hogwarts registration. This, Dumbledore flatly refused to do, claiming that Hogwarts was not a place of prejudice and spite. As he was the headmaster, the attempt failed completely. All authority ended with him.

Despite Dumbledore's refusal to eradicate Regulus from Hogwarts, Mr. Crouch did manage to push through the cutting off of his son's contact with him. His schedule was rearranged so that he shared no classes with Regulus, and he was even removed from the classes that the Slytherins had with the Ravenclaws, instead being the only Ravenclaw to have Transfiguration with the Hufflepuffs. Barty was the only student in the Seventh Form of Slytherin (or in Hogwarts for this matter) who's schedule was rearranged like this and everybody knew why. He was subjected to endless abuse and humiliation. The school prefects were made to make sure that the boys did not share a compartment, and one would have to accompany him when he left so that he could not meet up with Regulus in secret. This policy was enforced even in the school, the Ravenclaw prefect being made to accompany him to the bathroom when he wanted to be excused. It was all rather humiliating and degrading for both of them. Although, I must admit that I think that Regulus got it slightly better than Barty Crouch Jr. (according to the rumor mill, Regulus wormed his way out of trouble with his parents by pleading a love potion)

I was fifteen now and I was head of the Hogwarts Hoot, the school newspaper that I and a couple of my friends had founded in our fourth year. The idea had picked up quite a bit of steam and now the whole school was involved, including the teachers and the Seventh years. It became evident that I clearly had a knack for reporting. I had carried out interviews of professional standard from N.E.W.T students to Dumbledore. My friends were pretty adept at reporting too, and our newspaper was a wild hit. Goodness me, I'm repeating things! I'd better get on with the story.

I had been a fifth year for over 3 months and the year couldn't have had a greater start. All summer long, (as well as for the past few years) Hogwarts had been straddled in a thick blanket of fear and unease. For all you young'uns that don't bother with studying your wizarding history, you'd best settle your ears down for a history lesson.

I was alive during the time when He Who Must Not Be Named was in full power. There was hardly an article in the Daily Prophet back then, which didn't feature a list of people that dastardly wizard hadn't brutally murdered. I had countless scores of friends who had lost family members in the secret society "The Order of The Phoenix" This was a society founded by the Great Dumbledore himself, dedicated to eradicating the Dark Lord. We (yes, I am quite proud to say that I joined the Order, myself when You Know Who returned) were clearly a force to be reckoned with because the Dark Lord was so worried about us, that he went quite out of his way to kill anybody even remotely associated with it. Anyways, I couldn't even leave my house over the holls because my parents put a protective enchantment around it. I lost touch with so many friends and neighbors who hid themselves with fidelius charms (If you want to know about those, try for a N.E.W.T in charms when you reach your sixth year) We'd say goodbye to people in school right before break, knowing full well that we'd never see them again. My parents sent me and my sisters to atay at school pver Christmas and Easter because they thought we'd be safest with Dumbledore. It was a horrible time for all.

But now those times were over! Yes, on Halloween, our one and only Harry Potter vanquished the wicked wizard at only one year old! But it was a Sisyphean Victory through and through. Nobody knew how Harry destroyed You Know Who. The only thing they did know was that his poor parents were killed in the attempt to save their son. Exactly why the Dark Lord wanted the poor thing dead was beyond me. There was also the matter of Sirius Black turning out to be You Know Who's most faithful follower. Who. Would. Have. THOUGHT? My poor sister was beside herself when she learned that she spent almost her entire time at Hogwarts snogging a You Know Who Devotee. Well, his pureblood manic family must have been proud. He finally proved himself to them. But now he was safely carted off to Azkaban. Hmph! Good riddance!

But now that You Know Who was gone, the entire Wizarding World was abuzz. People were flamboyantly celebrating, regardless of the Ministry of Magic's International Statute of Secrecy. Looking back, I pity those poor officials who had to run about covering up the shooting stars down in Kent!

But now it was Christmas Break and I couldn't have been mpre excited! Not only was I going to go home for the Hollidays to Celebrate with my family (Something we had done little of when You Know Who ran amuck) but also, I was going to interview the Longbottoms for an Article in the Hogwarts Hoot!

The Longbottoms were some of the best Aurors in the Department of Law Enforcement, second only to Mad Eye Moody* They were fairly responsible for the overcrowding of the cells in Azkaban. This was a remarkable feat for a pair of 21 year olds. They rose to high ranks fast. They knew things about You Know Who. Not only this, but they were the only people who just might have a clue of what happened the night he vanished. The whole school was begging the Hogwarts Hoot for an interview from them. And I was the best candidate as Alice Longbottom had been housemates with one of my sisters (the Hufflepuff) and this connection could make it only easier for me to get at an interview. Also, I had been to their house numerous times for their wedding and baby shower (They had a son about Harry Potter's age) and we were on fairly friendly terms.

And as I skipped off towards the Longbottom's House, I wish I had embraced every moment leading up to reaching my destination. Because after I did, my life would never be the same again.

*What, you didn't think I ran all the way up sixteen flights of stairs yelling "Professor Dumbledore! Professor Dumbledore!" without anybody stopping me to ask what was wrong?

*Legendary Auror who had to retire after losing his marbles due to paranoia. Aurors make quite a few enemies


End file.
